saajid
06-18-2011, 01:58 PM
Jokes, Jokes and more Funny Stuff
A studnet was asked to write a signboard 4 the traffic rules near collage
campus He wrote:
"Drive Carefully!
Dun kill the students,wait for the teachers"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:Why don't elephants ride bikes?
A:They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:What did the grape say to the elephant?
A:Nothing, grapes can't talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks, and 2 trunks?
A:An elephant with spare parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would
be if it didn't zigzag?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once a sardarni asks her lover sardarji :
"if we get engaged will u give me a ring "
The sardar says :"SURE,whats your phone number?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ENGLISH OF A ASIAN TEACHER...
In class:
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
About family
* I have two daughters both of them are girls
At the play ground
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment
* You, rotate the ground four times
* You, go and under-stand the tree
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why you are late - say YES or NO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A studnet was asked to write a signboard 4 the traffic rules near collage
campus He wrote:
"Drive Carefully!
Dun kill the students,wait for the teachers"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:Why don't elephants ride bikes?
A:They don't have a thumb to ring the bell.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:What did the grape say to the elephant?
A:Nothing, grapes can't talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:What has 6 legs, 3 ears, 4 tusks, and 2 trunks?
A:An elephant with spare parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If people from Poland are called Poles, why
aren't people from Holland called Holes?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought about how mothers feed their babies
with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered
what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would
be if it didn't zigzag?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once a sardarni asks her lover sardarji :
"if we get engaged will u give me a ring "
The sardar says :"SURE,whats your phone number?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ENGLISH OF A ASIAN TEACHER...
In class:
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the air force come in.
* Cut an apple in two halfs- take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away outside
* Both of you three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the window.
* Take Copper Wire of any metal specially of Silver.
* Take 5 cm wire of any length.
About family
* I have two daughters both of them are girls
At the play ground
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
Punishment
* You, rotate the ground four times
* You, go and under-stand the tree
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why you are late - say YES or NO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~