Toronto Maple Leafs

[chicot60]

The OPP are cracking down on speeders heading into Toronto.

For the first offense, they give you 2 Maple leaf tickets.

If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

===================================

Q. What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup playoffs ?

A. The Toronto Maple Leafs

==============================


Q. How do you keep a Toronto maple Leaf out of your yard?

A. Put up a goalie net .

======================================

Q. What do you call a Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?

A. Real Old

====================================

Q. How many Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup ?

A. Nobody remembers.

=============================

Q. What do the Maple Leafs and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

================================

[The Cobra]

You`re a sick man Chico-----------------LMAO

[The Cobra]

http://www.leafs-suck.com/pictures/26_b.jpg

[The Cobra]

always got a big kick out of this one..................

http://i18.piczo.com/view/m/1/b/l/j/t/s/n/u/a/h/img/i40350581_4576_7.jpg

[The Cobra]

Equal time-----------------



A Leafs fan, a Habs fan, and Jessica Simpson are all in a train together, when all of a sudden they go through a tunnel and everything goes dark. Out came the sound of a kiss, followed by a slap. When the train came out of the
tunnel, the Habs fan was holding his cheek. The Habs fan thought to himself "the Leaf fan must have tried to kiss Jessica Simpson and she must have slapped me, thinking I did it." Jessica thinks to herself "the Habs fan must
have tried to kiss me but ended up kissing the Leaf fan instead and the Leaf fan must have slapped him. The Leaf fan thinks to himself "I hope we go through another tunnel so I can make kissing sounds and then slap the Habs fan again!"

[The Cobra]

A Maple Leafs fan, a Canadiens fan and a Bruins fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said:
"It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Bruins fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Habs fan was next up (he almost finished a half bottle of whine), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Canadiens fan crying.
The Leafs fan was the last one up (he had finished off the case), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your city has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Maple Leafs replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and loyal man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.
"Tie the Habs fan to my back so he can get his ass whooped again."

[ft@t@lk™]

where's the puck?

http://www.silentvoicemedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/hahaleafs.jpg

sure you seen it before but still makes me laugh every single time ROFLMAO

[ft@t@lk™]

tried and tested lol





http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o169/annietim/laundry.jpg

[chuck]

well the leafs may have some hockey trouble...but there are some teams that have some serious issues dude...LOL!

http://i973.photobucket.com/albums/ae213/chuck067/troubles.jpg

[ft@t@lk™]

take that lol




http://www.jokesbum.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/baby-punches-toronto-maple-leafs.jpg

[ft@t@lk™]

when all else fails




http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRAyCeqbIg2Tq1zubEySXw2cqFKDZ24X eYvkw6tKOHEC9J9KqJh&t=1

:grr:

[chicot60]

http://muskokaoutdoors.ca/blog/wp-content/uploads/leafs_hamilton.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_BUBy95YyKLQ/SalzdMnlydI/AAAAAAAAAHc/9eBA-CHg_Nc/s320/Toronto+maple+leaf+joke.bmp

http://inthepen.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/goalagainstleafs.jpg

http://web.ncf.ca/ai151/leafspope.jpg

http://communities.canada.com/reginaleaderpost/cfs-file.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Blogs.Components.WeblogFiles/wagner/5241.leafs.jpg

[ft@t@lk™]

roflmao chico

now, if only she was a Habs fan :grr:






http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_MrEOIuvozK8/TPXYSLThVeI/AAAAAAAAABU/mq8Srv7hb-g/s1600/leafs-chick.jpg

[chicot60]

You have a choice

http://cdn.guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/Habsfans3.jpg

http://dennis-kane.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/queen.jpg

http://www.canadianthinker.com/images/LeafsHabs.gif

[The Cobra]

try this one out-----

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/38/116082279_9f57cf4959.jpg

[The Cobra]

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/55/l_3d5bb8cfc7fb4fd2ab900b5435235fd6.jpg

[chicot60]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WOZ5J6Visl4/R5I9qScxeeI/AAAAAAAAAkw/fXyFb8Ed4RU/s1600/Toronto%2BTeam%2BPhoto.JPG

[ft@t@lk™]

awesome pics guys....I see you picked up from where you left off LMAO

[chicot60]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_U4n4doyBGZs/RwnKnoSCdXI/AAAAAAAABAI/zfQo-QQ_dvo/s400/Toronto+Maple+Leafs.jpg

[The Cobra]

Pictures say a thousand words............................

http://homepage.mac.com/kenff/images/fourdown.gif

[The Cobra]

awesome pics guys....I see you picked up from where you left off LMAO

http://www.freddiep.ca/images/leafsmonkeys.gif

[The Cobra]

Last one in my arsenal..............

http://cdn2.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/39133/51e2nry80jl._ss500_.jpg

[ft@t@lk™]

priced just right lol

[Night Prowler]

the only 2 cents I have left.......

A Sabres fan, a Leafs fan, & a Flyers fan are climbing a mountain & arguing about who loves his team more. The Leafs fan insists he is the most loyal. "This is for the Leafs!" he yells, & jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Sabres fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the Sabres!" & pushes the Flyers fan off the mountain!

[chicot60]

I got a few left.

http://www.jayzoo.com/earchive/data/jan25/Maple_Leafs.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ahuvxRitU74/TH2zgrAJ04I/AAAAAAAARjM/pcC_onvDJio/s400/cartoon.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2117/2385959161_8b11c752fb_o.jpg

http://chzupnextinsports.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/funny-sports-pictures-zing1.jpg

[The Cobra]

A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out and grants them each one wish.
The Quebecer says, "I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out."
"It is done," says the genie, turning to the other guy. "And your wish?"
The guy from Ontario smiles and says, "Fill it with water."

[The Cobra]

Top ten excuses the habs just got eliminated from the playoffs
1. The Stanley cup is too heavy.
2. Trying to make Don Cherry's blooper clips.
3. Some kid in section 103 kept yelling "Habs suck".
4. Disheartened by the only partially true comments on this site.
5. Our friends the Ottawa Senators kept telling us "winning in the playoffs is no big deal".
6. If only we'd had Shapiro and Cochran on defense instead of Boullion and Brisebois.
7. Ate free Poutine until we were sick to our stomach.
8. Those big guys on the other team kept trying to knock us down and shooting the puck into the corners where we can't get it.
9. Hard to concentrate when you're having erotic fantasies about Jean Claude Van Damme.
10. Who needs all the pressure of the Stanley cup finals?

[JCO]

Makes for one nice skating rink in winter..

[chicot60]

Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Leafs team have in common?
A: They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

Q: What do a criminal court judge and the coach of the Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They both sit behind a bench, watch an endless parade of losers go by, and wonder if they are actually making a difference.

Q: What’s the difference between Air Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: Air Miles earn points.

Q: What do a fine wine and the Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

Q: What do the Leafs team and a pace car have in common?
A: They both go around in circles, aren’t involved in the race and are passed by all the competitors.

Q: What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?
A: They’ve both finished their year by April.

Q: Why are the Leafs owned by teachers?
A: Because they both take summers off and are demoralized the rest of the year.

[chicot60]

A Canadian peacekeeper is walking in a desert when he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie promises to give him 1 wish. The peacekeeper thinks hard and finally takes out a map. He points at the region where he's from and says all he wants is to have peace in that region. "Wow," the genie says, "that's a tough one. Do you have anything else?" The peacekeeper thinks a moment and says: "How about the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?" to which the genie replies: "Let me see that map again."

[The Cobra]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xwCYAlNLJIo/TWC_AgG63HI/AAAAAAAAAHY/pPzyMzx_Xds/s1600/url.jpeg

[Night Prowler]

this thread is cracking me up........nothing like kicking your team when they are down and out........are we fair weather fans? :lol:

[JCO]

this thread is cracking me up........nothing like kicking your team when they are down and out........are we fair weather fans? :lol:

Well in that case the leafs have been the kicking post since 1967.. Let the tradition live long...LOL
Seems like the weather in Toronto has been constant for a long time.. I figure there trying to get the longest loosing streak in profesional sports history..
Headline in 2067 will read Leafs... A Century of constant performance in winning the Stanley Cup..:tehe:

[chuck]

Well in that case the leafs have been the kicking post since 1967.. Let the tradition live long...LOL
Seems like the weather in Toronto has been constant for a long time.. I figure there trying to get the longest loosing streak in profesional sports history..
Headline in 2067 will read Leafs... A Century of constant performance in winning the Stanley Cup..:tehe:

actually the leafs will win the cup in 2017. it was predicted on the mayan calender......thats is only if there other prediction doesn't come true :<)

[The Cobra]

actually the leafs will win the cup in 2017. it was predicted on the mayan calender......thats is only if there other prediction doesn't come true :<)

Yeah....................the day after the asteroid hits.

[The Cobra]

this thread is cracking me up........nothing like kicking your team when they are down and out........are we fair weather fans? :lol:

No fair weather fans for the Leafs-----we`ve earned the right to take pot shots at them more than any other fan base in the NHL..

[DSSRUEL]

http://www.canadianbeauts.faketrix.com/contents/comedy-stuff/pics/large-files/Escape-from-Toronto-movie-parody-about-Canada.jpg

[chicot60]

http://www.wittyfish.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/rolluptherimfm6.jpg

[chicot60]

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v36/165/6/1664490089/n1664490089_39119_5280.jpg

[The Cobra]

equal time again.......................

http://www.allhabs.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/habs-and-bruins-fans.jpg

[chicot60]

http://a323.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_nhl_experts__41/ept_sports_nhl_experts-882711188-1254154555.jpg?ym8Un9BDGhBfSke4

[chicot60]

Toronto Police Department reports finding a man's body in the Don River, just south of the Bloor Viaduct. The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption. He was
wearing black fish-net stockings, a red garter belt, a strap-on sex aid, and a Leafs hockey jersey. He also had a cucumber stuffed up his rectum.
The police removed the Leafs hockey jersey--- to spare his family any
unnecessary embarrassment.


One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are. The teacher asks the class, “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?” Billy raises up his hand and says, “Yeah, Pennsylvania!”. The teacher replies, “Very good, Billy!, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?” Suzy raises her hand and says, “That’s in Michigan!” The teacher again says, “Very good.” Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, “Where’s Toronto?” Tommy raises his hand and says, “Oh Oh Pick me!!!, I know?” The teacher says, “OK, Tommy where is Toronto?” “Last place.”

[The Cobra]

http://bp0.blogger.com/_WOZ5J6Visl4/R--bGTOiFVI/AAAAAAAAA3g/CoT9FNy-BrI/s400/[email protected]

[chicot60]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_eChJYQ9nAZA/S2eb_PXMZEI/AAAAAAAAA0I/IEtdOFSBc1k/s400/GoodBadUglyBurke.jpg

[The Cobra]

In 2 words.......................

http://th647.photobucket.com/albums/uu191/Ramuthra_2009/th_habs.gif

[chicot60]

http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/58646/LoLeafs.jpg