KIDWCKED
11-18-2010, 11:11 PM
c/p from foxsports by Kevin Hench.
Updated Nov 18, 2010 5:14 PM ET
Cheaters never prosper.
We heard it a lot growing up, an incessant reminder. Moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents — no grown-up missed an opportunity to hammer it home. Even if it meant looking up from cheating on their taxes.
If we had been more critical thinkers as kids we might have wondered, "Gee, if this maxim is so self-evident, why do you folks feel so obliged to keep reminding us?"
Now we know.
As the naiveté of childhood began to wear off, we noticed that cheaters occasionally prospered. Then we realized they often prospered. And by the time we were full-grown sports fans we came to appreciate the complete upside-downism of our forebears’ totally misleading aphorism.
Cheaters, we learned, always prospered.
The latest glaring example comes from college football, where the Cal Bears became the first team this season to slow down the blur that is the Oregon offense.
How did they pull it off? They did it the old-fashioned way: They cheated.
Suspicion has been growing for weeks that Oregon opponents have been faking injuries on defense to slow down the Ducks, but last Saturday left no doubt. Cal defensive lineman Aaron Tipoti proved he’s no drama major with his thoroughly unconvincing performance. He hopped up after a play, seemed fine, glanced to the sideline, then flopped on the ball. “Feigning” injury would be an overstatement. He didn’t even deign to feign. His pathetic acting has made him a YouTube sensation.
The Bears lost 15-13, but if you look at the scores the Ducks have run up this year, losing 15-13 falls into the category of prospering.
The poor officials have no way to police this tactic and have to treat every apparent injury as if it’s real. They can’t administer a polygraph or an MRI between plays. So the only “punishment” is sitting out a play. Until the rule is tweaked — how about being required to sit out the rest of the series? — up-tempo offenses are going to see more and more of the Stella Adler defense.
The college football rulebook addresses faking injuries in the following unintentionally hilarious passage under “Coaching Ethics”:
Updated Nov 18, 2010 5:14 PM ET
Cheaters never prosper.
We heard it a lot growing up, an incessant reminder. Moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents — no grown-up missed an opportunity to hammer it home. Even if it meant looking up from cheating on their taxes.
If we had been more critical thinkers as kids we might have wondered, "Gee, if this maxim is so self-evident, why do you folks feel so obliged to keep reminding us?"
Now we know.
As the naiveté of childhood began to wear off, we noticed that cheaters occasionally prospered. Then we realized they often prospered. And by the time we were full-grown sports fans we came to appreciate the complete upside-downism of our forebears’ totally misleading aphorism.
Cheaters, we learned, always prospered.
The latest glaring example comes from college football, where the Cal Bears became the first team this season to slow down the blur that is the Oregon offense.
How did they pull it off? They did it the old-fashioned way: They cheated.
Suspicion has been growing for weeks that Oregon opponents have been faking injuries on defense to slow down the Ducks, but last Saturday left no doubt. Cal defensive lineman Aaron Tipoti proved he’s no drama major with his thoroughly unconvincing performance. He hopped up after a play, seemed fine, glanced to the sideline, then flopped on the ball. “Feigning” injury would be an overstatement. He didn’t even deign to feign. His pathetic acting has made him a YouTube sensation.
The Bears lost 15-13, but if you look at the scores the Ducks have run up this year, losing 15-13 falls into the category of prospering.
The poor officials have no way to police this tactic and have to treat every apparent injury as if it’s real. They can’t administer a polygraph or an MRI between plays. So the only “punishment” is sitting out a play. Until the rule is tweaked — how about being required to sit out the rest of the series? — up-tempo offenses are going to see more and more of the Stella Adler defense.
The college football rulebook addresses faking injuries in the following unintentionally hilarious passage under “Coaching Ethics”: