bigbadbrother
03-09-2013, 03:17 AM
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Whiteout.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did....
she's 21 and her name's Lucy
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders.
All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'.
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!'
Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did....
she's 21 and her name's Lucy
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders.
All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen, 'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'.
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!'
Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a dead Beatle for the last thirty years.